The impact of a new baby on a relationship is huge. There is much joy to be shared as a couple enters parenthood but there are also many challenges that they must face together. Increased stress, financial pressure, changes in roles, and communication challenges are among the many challenges that can affect the relationship. At its worst, these challenges can lead to emotional dysfunction in the family, abuse, perpetuation of intergenerational trauma, and harmful effects on a baby’s development. 

So, we want to recommend a helpful book that addresses the challenges couples face as new parents. John and Julie Gottman’s book, “And Baby Makes Three” outlines a multi-step plan for preserving intimacy and rekindling romance after the baby arrives. 

John and Julie Gottman share valuable insights and strategies on how couples can navigate this new stage in life. They highlight the importance of maintaining friendship in the relationship by  engaging in activities that nurture bonding and connection by spending quality time together and finding ways of expressing appreciation for each other. Effective communication based on “I” statements can be used to communicate and actively listen to each other while expressing empathy and understanding. Conflict is inevitable, but managing conflict constructively by taking breaks when emotions are volatile and working towards compromises that satisfy both partners can lessen the destructive impact that conflicts can often have on couples.  Aim to divide responsibilities as fairly as possible by considering each partner’s strengths and preferences. 

Preserving intimacy by scheduling regular date nights and time for each other  to connect emotionally and physically can help couples feel more connected to each other. Facing challenges as a couple is a normal part of new parenthood. Even the best of couples fight, drift apart, or have thoughts of separation when transitioning into parenthood. By exploring some of Gottman’s strategies and techniques, you and your partner may feel better equipped to navigate those challenges in a more loving and supportive environment.